Here’s where I am in my current state of life. I need to make some decisions.
Decision #1:
I graduate in May and finish up my teaching contract in June here in Los Angeles. Do I:
a. stay on at my school and live in LA for at least another year?
(Pros: I like my school. I will be free to move away from Gardena and live in the LA neighborhood of my choice, perhaps closer to my place of employment and LMU. I will be able to get my CLEAR professional teaching credential in this next year for 20% of the normal cost, just for having gone through PLACE and choosing to stay at my school site. I will have 3 years of experience in a self-contained classroom, which apparently gives me a significantly greater amount of cred than my current 2 years of experience. I won’t have to transition into a new job on top of new living situation.
Cons: L.A. is L.A. It’s not Seattle. It’s not even Tacoma or Portland or San Fran. It’s not that I hate my life here, I just know this is not where I want to end up. I want something new. I don’t get paid that much at my school. I’m a little burnt out on the Catholic part of my job. It might just come with being a professional or a teacher, but I’m tired of hiding my personal information, including but not limited to my age, sexuality, relationship status, political views, and all other “controversial” aspects of my personhood. I also have no definite future roommate plans lined up, which is a source of some stress at times.)
b. get a job in Seattle and move to the place where I would like to end up?
(Pros: I love Seattle. It’s my college town and therefore forever holds a special place in my heart. I would be much closer to my family, whom I love and miss very much. For next year at least, I could room with Tim Hemker! I could potentially find a job in a non-Catholic teaching environment and breathe a little easier. I could hang out with my friends and loved ones who still work and reside in and around Seattle. I could, in good faith and without hesitancy, commit long-term to a school, new friendships, and/or a romantic relationship.
Cons: I don’t currently have any job offers lined up in Seattle and the odds of finding a good one are pretty bleak as of late (though I have submitted my resume to a school that is hiring a first grade teacher and cross country coach, so I have my fingers crossed). I would have only my preliminary teaching credential through California and would have to then enroll and pay full tuition somewhere to clear my professional credential. I could potentially feel like a first-year teacher again…which if you didn’t know…is the WORST…and worth two ‘Cons’ points.)
Decision #2
I am recently (for about two months now) single and feeling pretty insecure. Do I:
a. resign myself to a fate of lonely bachelorhood and take a vow of celebacy?
(Pros: I very much dislike dating. Don’t get me wrong: I love being in a more or less stable relationship with the promise of a happy future in wedded bliss! I do not, however, enjoy the “small-talk, get-to-know-you, nervous butterflies” stage of dating or the “it’s-not-working-out, let’s-be-friends, sorry-to-break-your-heart” stage. If I choose to abstain from this awkward dance, I can avoid the discomfort and pain altogether. A vow of celebacy is bold and dramatic and final. I could avoid the pain and feel self-righteous and unambiguous at the same time! Who needs shades of gray in defining the terms of a relationship when I could have pure white godly celebacy? And I could get a cat and a fanny pack finally! (30Rock)
Cons: This is entirely unrealistic. I don’t want this. This would suck worse than dating.)
b. wait patiently for my friends and loved ones (nudge nudge) to fix me up with THE ONE and save me the hassle of picking dates up in bars or coffee shops or the internet or wherever the hell people meet people these days?
(Pros: I like this option. For the most part, I trust my friends. If you think someone is right for me, I’d even be willing to date them to find out. So what’s there to lose? Put out your feelers and find them! It would be ideal if I could meet them casually hanging out with mutual friends. A flirtatious friendship could develop. From here, we would begin to hang out alone and would ultimately confess our undying love and affection. DTR. Then we get married, get a dog, start a non-profit, adopt some kids, and live happily ever after in wedded bliss (as I mentioned earlier).
Cons: I’m getting hung up on that word “patiently” in this option. Hmmm.)
Please share your wisdom and insight with me. I could use all the help I can get.
Much love.
